Life after Death

I almost drowned as a child. I was about five years old, maybe a little younger, and was swimming with my family at Milton Town Beach in Milton, NH. My sister and a couple of older girls were swimming out to an isolated dock in the water. My sister warned me there was a drop-off, and though she was a much better swimmer than me, I ignored her. I thought she just didn't want me joining them on the dock. I remember her telling me about the drop-off, and I remember trying to swim out there. I didn't know how to swim. The next thing I remember I was deep in the water, on my back. I had the toes of my right foot on the rocky edge of the drop-off, but the rest of me was well below that point. I remember the green water, and the light above me, but I don't remember how I got back up. I remember that when I did reach the surface, I was gasping for air, suddenly frantic. I remember choking on the water as I made my way to the shore.

I wonder now if that experience is why I am convinced by NDE's or near-death-experiences. Many people recount leaving their bodies and traveling towards the light after death, and I feel deep in my soul that is accurate. I wish I could remember if that is what happened to me that day. I do know that I was alone in that time in the water, and something helped me to realize that I could make it to the surface with only my toes on the edge of that rock.

I also know that I have lived before. I don't remember past lives, but I remember feeling as if I had a life before my infancy. I know I have soulmates - people that I know in this life that I've known from past lives. I can't explain how I can recognize some people as soulmates and not others, except that when I met them, I already felt like I knew them. The strongest of these connections for me was my high school boyfriend. It is a very comforting feeling to know that this person will always be with me, even if I don't see him for years, or even until the next life.

I love reading others' accounts of near-death-experiences and past life experiences. One of my clients, a very socially-conservative and remarkably sane Republican social worker, told me about some of her own out-of-body experiences. I've read that these can be willfully experienced, with a little practice. I've tried once, and got pretty freaked out by the intense vibrations that I felt while attempting the OBE.

I've always been fascinated with imagining what may lie beyond the limits of our physical bodies, what our consciousness or minds are capable of. I believe that our physical bodies are temporary, merely vessels that allow our conscious minds to experience the physical realm, and even to complete lessons here on Earth that our souls must accomplish. I wonder how far along I am; if I am doing well; if I am learning, or just repeating the same mistakes over and over. I wonder how different my next life will be, and whom I will encounter again. I wonder if I will recognize them next time, or if I will forget.

It's so odd for me to admit to myself that I accept this as my faith after being atheist or agnostic for most of my life. But I'm glad I do. My faith is a very comforting one.